I can't even think of a title for this one...

I think it's safe to say I've been going through some stuff lately. I felt completely empty when I went to church, when I read my Bible, and when I prayed. Sure, God's there but I felt like maybe he wasn't listening. Maybe He heard me but didn't want to deal with me.
Boy, was I WRONG!!! (what else is new? lol) If you take the time to read them, these are just a few of the verses and quotes that literally seemed to be jumping off the pages and screaming in my face. I somehow finally just realized that God knew exactly what He was doing and I guess I kind of let a lot of stuff go. I wish I could really explain things more, but I honestly can't. Just know that God is absolutely amazing. Completely and totally amazing.

"Though the trials may grow harder, though your steps may grow yet darker, though the valley's shadow grows even longer, it is only, perhaps, my friend, because your faith is growing stronger and you are ready to climb a higher mountain and dive deeper into your Father's fathomless grace." -Sarah

2 Consider it pure joy my brothers whenever you face trials of many kinds 3 for you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. 4 Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. 5 If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him..." James 1:2-5

6 ...but He gives us more grace! That is why Scripture says: God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble." 7 Submit yourself then to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. 8 Come near to God and He will come near to you..." James 4:6-8

13 Now listen, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.”14 Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes.15 Instead, you ought to say, “If it is the Lord's will, we will live and do this or that.” James 4: 13-15

13 Is any one of you in trouble? He should pray. Is anyone happy? Let him sing songs of praise.14 Is any one of you sick? He should call the elders of the church to pray over him and anoint him with oil in the name of the Lord.15 And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise him up. If he has sinned, he will be forgiven. Make this your common practice: Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you can live together whole and healed. The prayer of a person living right with God is something powerful to be reckoned with.James 5:13-16

"...Don't forget all of the stuff God showed you in the light. You might feel like your in the darkness now, lost and confused, but you shouldn't give up just because of that. You feel distant from Him now, but you know He's there..." -Grant

"I'm tired of all this...so tired. My bed has been floating forty days and night on the flood of my tears. My mattress is soaked. Soggy with tears." Psalm 6:6

That verse especially blew me away. It was written by David who apparently was this guy "after God's heart." I don't think you understand how comforting it was to know that here was David who was supposedly like this really good dude but he was struggling too.

I was emptying my bible case of all of the index cards, notes, handouts, pencils, pens, etc. It got a hole in it so I was getting stuff out to throw it away. Well, I was throwing it away and this little slip of paper fell LITERALLY onto my lap!!! It was from a REVERB from who knows when... and I had written like 4 or 5 different points.

• He isn't surprised or disappointed
• He will use our hurt to help us grow
• He promises to be there with us

Then in Sunday School I just so happened to be called to read Ephesians 2: 8-9

"8For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God. 9not by works, so that no one can boast."

I did NOT want to go to Saturday Night service this past week. But I did... It was like the 2nd song and the band starts to sing "How He Loves" and I lost it. I felt like I was about to bawl. So, I went to Mr. John's office just to find a tissue but I couldn't find the light switch. It's amazing how the smallest thing can send you completely over the edge... I didn't even get to hear Grant talk, I was in there praying with tears rolling down my face and big ugly sobs coming out of my mouth. =) But, I let it all go. All of the stuff that's been bothering me lately, I finally realized (once again) that God can handle all of it. Every single little thing. I won't lie, I'm still trying to figure some stuff out. This time though, I won't try to do it by myself because I know that I can't. I know that I definitely shouldn't be angry with God or anything like that, and I know that He loves me. I've always known that God loves me, but I don't think I ever really grasped what that meant. I mean, think about it...
God made the entire universe. Do yourself a favor, if you've never taken a second to, and Google pictures of our universe. Earth is really really really tiny. I mean we aren't even microscopic, we're smaller than that. So if earth is that small, think of how small we are? There are like 6.5 BILLION people on the planet! God loves each individual person though. It's insane!!! Hold 1 strand of your hair. Then take a few strands. Now hold a little chunk. Now hold a big chunk. Ok, now hold half of your hair into a little ponytail. Finally, hold all of your hair up into on big ponytail. There's a verse that says God knows EXACTLY how many hairs are on our head.
I went to the Chattanooga aquarium and asked our tour guide/marine biologist person if it was true that if the water that coral grows in, changes by ONE degree it could all die. The statement is true. God cares about all these plants and coral and stuff, so think about how much he loves us?!?!? It's totally and completely insanely amazing, and that's the unconditional love of God. <3

Last thing I'll type and then I'll be done. I have said it A LOT in the past few weeks but I am so unbelievably thankful for my church. I was seriously at the point where I was just like "forget all of it b/c if I can't figure it out by now then God just doesn't care..." Then I just so happened to find an AMAZING friend who had been through the same stuff as me before, and she helped me SO much. I don't know what I would do without her. My Sunday school teachers, and my youth minister, and basically just everyone in my church are such amazing people! I really don't know where I'd be without them.

Little pieces of things that are amazing!!!!